In My Head [COMPLETE]

Rosalind let out a breath, the tears once again spilling down her cheeks at his words. She'd hurt him. She knew she had, especially with the words she'd said to him. Hurting him hadn't been her intention, she wanted to be the last person to ever do that. He'd had enough hurt in one life.

I'm sorry. The words were broken and heavy. She took a step backwards, her back hitting the door. Saying sorry wouldn't be enough, she knew that. What if she had hurt him enough for him to want her gone? He was angry, understandably so. But was it enough to send her away for good? D-do you want me to leave? I'm sorry I said that. I shouldn't have, especially bringing up your parents. Its not true, they weren't right about you. You know that, right? You-you do deserve to be loved, more than anyone. I didn't....I shouldn't have... Rosalind shrank into herself a bit. Do you...do you want me to leave?

Rosalind was flooded with a sudden relief when Deimos went over to her and hugged her, not knowing how much she needed the contact. How much she needed to hear him say he didn't want her to go. Because as much as she knew she'd deserve it, leaving him would break her. Maybe it was selfish of her but she didn't want to be alone in this world. She wouldn't be able to handle it.

I'm sorry. She said for what felt like the millionth time to him. It felt like she wouldn't be able to apologize enough. Rosalind pressed against him, her arms wrapped tightly around him and her face pressed against his chest, tears burning her eyes. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. The words were quiet, barely filtering into his mind. It was the only thing she could think of to say, hating herself for ever making him feel like that.

She took a step back, tilting her head up to look at him, though unsure of what she wanted to say. What could she say to make this okay? Could she make it okay? I don't want to leave you. Rosalind pressed back against him, her arms tightening around him. I never want to leave you. It would...you're all I have. I don't want to lose you. Rosie pulled away again, taking a deep breath and trying to quell the tears. She didn't know how much he believed her, or if he even forgave her for what she'd said.

What she did know though, was that she was so very exhausted. Her entire body felt heavy, her head and back hurt, and she felt as if she were going to collapse at any moment. Coming home to this, after the day she'd had was overwhelming. They'd never had a fight like this before, and she hoped they never did again, she didn't like being on the receiving end of his anger. It wasn't a good feeling.

How did you know I was getting teased? Rosie wasn't sure exactly how much he knew about what she went through every day. She'd tried to keep it from him as much as possible, not wanting him to feel guilty about it, but it was out there now. The question was, how much did he know was going on?

Rosalind's chest felt impossibly tight. Him not forgiving her was probably one of the worst things she could feel, though she couldn't fault him. Outside of her just upping and leaving, her telling him his parents were right was probably the worst thing she could have said to him. Actually, her leaving would probably be less of a blow than what she'd said to him. I don't expect you to... She replied, not looking at him. But I won't. I didn't mean to say it this time it just came out. I never wanted to be another person to hurt you.

When he pulled her to the bed she immediately cuddled against him, letting out a breath. She should have known he would have noticed. Especially since the bullying and rumors were about her being with him. It didn't seem like he had noticed anyone talking about Mike, but she figured students were at least smart enough to not saying anything with him around. Or he wasn't saying he'd heard anything. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to get upset, or think it was your fault. Rosie laid her head on his chest, sighing. I didn't want you to leave me or something because you don't want me to get hurt because of you.

Rosalind tilted her head up to look at him, a frown on her face. The hand that was rubbing her back felt good but she found herself wishing he would press a little harder to soothe the aching between her shoulders. Instead she rolled her shoulders a bit, wincing. I never said you couldn't think critically. I just assumed you ignored what the students say. That's what I do...well, did. It's getting harder to pretend like I can't hear them. She paused, her eyes going to her hand on his chest, which had formed into a fist. Before, when it was just words about my lack of wings it was easy to just ignore the words. Even being talked about because I was talking to you didn't bother me.

Her hand grab a fistful of his shirt and she took a deep breath, feeling it catch in her throat. But it's not just whisper anymore. My friends actively avoid me now. I get approached by different guys everyday because someone spread a rumor that I wasn't assaulted by Miles, but claimed it because I regretted sleeping with him, and that if I were dating you I should be fine with sleeping with anyone. Rosie sat up, her hands on her chest as she looked down at him. I didn't want to tell you because you're dealing with your own problems. I didn't want to worry you with something like this when I'm the reason you're already suffering... She looked away, willing the tears to go away. It's not that I think you're a loose cannon or can't control yourself. I just didn't want you to think this was all your fault.

Rosalind wasn't sure if she would actually tell him whenever the bullying happened, because it happened so often and she would only make him feel worse if she did, but she gave a slight nod anyway. If I told you every time someone said anything to or about me you would never get any time to yourself. She said, keeping her eyes on her balled fist. She looked up at Deimos when he took her hand in his, sighing. But I'll try not to keep it all to myself. I'll come to you...maybe not for everything but I'll try to tell you about some stuff.

She sat up so she could look down at him, a slight smile on her face. I'm still only 18 you know, I still have like three years here. Do you think the faculty, or the Headmaster would let me go? Rosie chewed on her bottom lip, reaching with the hand in his to run a finger against his chin, her face falling again. I really am sorry Deimos.

Rosie settled back onto Deimos, moving so that one of her legs rested between both of his, her hand sliding up to run through his hair. If she didn't have to continue with schooling, that meant that this year could be her last year. And if she were honest with herself, she was glad to have that information. She wasn't very good at school to begin with, and having to go through college level classes would be the end of her. Plus she wasn't entirely sure how long she'd be able to survive with everyone avoiding her because she was with Deimos.

I would go anywhere if it's with you. As long as there's sun. I can't take living in the cold much longer than I have to. This darkness is killing me. She said honestly, closing her eyes. Rosalind snuggled close to him, letting out a soft sigh. But definitely somewhere English speaking. Or...if you wanted to go back home we could go there. I could probably learn to speak Greek. She didn't suggest going home to Bali. As much as she missed it, that would mean going back home to her parents. Having to face them after running away, having to explain why she ran and listening to her father tell her all the reasons she deserved what she'd gotten. Rosalind didn't realize she'd been holding her breath, and that her hand was clenched to the point of hurting her until a sharp pain shot through her back and she let out the breath with a soft gasp. When she took a second to compose herself she said, I'll go wherever you want.